


Boyfriend For Hire

by hotmess_yes (orphan_account)



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fake Relationship, First Kiss, First Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Romance, and he is a terrible liar, but not really, i just thought it was a humorous name, if you even wanna call them friends, josh is kind of an anxious mess, no one is really getting paid for this, sassy!tyler, this is probably so unoriginal, tyler is super forward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9854654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/hotmess_yes
Summary: “Look, man, I'm in the crap right now. So I'll cut right to the chase and ask, can you pretend to be my boyfriend for like five minutes?” | In a moment of desperation, Josh asks the cute stock boy at the grocery store to be his pretend boyfriend so he can shut his parents up. Too bad that boy is Tyler Joseph, who is taking this WAY too seriously. |





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure how original this plot is but oh well I'm having a go at it  
> this is told in josh's pov by the way!

According to my parents, talking to me about my love life (or lack, thereof) while walking through the aisles of the supermarket made _total_ and _complete_ sense.

 

“Sweetie, we know you were a bit of a late bloomer.” Gee, Mom, way to lay it on thick. “And your father and I are so proud of you for opening up about your orientation to us last year. But we're just, you know, _worried._ ”

 

I tried not to roll my eyes as I trailed behind them, studying the cereal boxes next to me and listening to my mom drone on and on about something that really didn't concern her in the first place.

 

“It's just that, you're a _senior_ and you're growing up. We just want you to be happy and with someone special as you turn into an adult. Now is the time to start building a solid relationship with someone, Josh.”

 

I felt like I was almost being... lectured for not being in a relationship. And this wasn't the first time it had happened either; I'd been listening to the same spiel over and over again since I started the twelfth grade. My parents didn't seem to want to acknowledge the possibility that maybe no one _wanted_ to date me.

 

And frankly, I was getting sick of it.

 

“Your mother's right, Josh,” my dad put in. “We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, you just seem so _lonely_ and--”

 

That's it.

 

“I am dating someone,” I blurted out. Realizing what I just said, my hand flew up to my mouth and I felt an immediate sense of regret wash over me.

 

My parents stopped in their tracks, mouth agape. “Really?” they said at the same time.

 

I nodded. “Really.” My mouth took off before my mind did. “He works here, actually.”

 

Me and my big mouth.

 

My mom's face lit up into a smile. “Well, go and get him then. We'd love to meet him.”

 

Oh crap.

 

“I, uh...”

 

“We'll wait right here for you,” my dad said.

 

I forced the biggest smile that I could manage and laughed nervously. “Right, uh...” I turned on my heel, slowly backing down the aisle. “Be right back.”

 

Walking in between the aisles, I started to panic. This was turning into a big, fat lie and I had no way to live it down. Where was I going to find a boyfriend at in this old, god-forsaken grocery store?

 

I stopped in front of the canned goods aisle when I saw an employee hunched over the shelves, sticking cans of corn and yam into the empty spaces. He was tall, slender and looking quite bored. He was...

 

Tyler Joseph?

 

Power-walking down the aisle, I hurried my way over to him. “Hey,” I called out. “You're Tyler, right?”

 

He looked up at me, a confused look on his face. “Yeah...?” His eyes narrowed a little as he focused in on my face. “Wait, don't you go to my school?”

 

“Yeah, we're in chem together.” I rocked back and forth on my feet. “Look, man, I'm in the crap right now. So I'll cut right to the chase and ask, can you pretend to be my boyfriend for like five minutes?”

 

His eyebrows went up to the ceiling. “Excuse me?”

 

I was starting to get antsy. “It's a long story, but please, yes or no?”

 

“Yes, but I--”

 

“Thank you!” I exclaimed. Grabbing his hand, I pulled him away with me, back down the aisle to find my parents again, much to Tyler's protest.

 

“Wait, wait,” he said. “I don't even know your name.”

 

“I'm Josh. Josh Dun.” Rounding the corner of the cereal aisle, I slowed down to a relaxed pace as we approached my parents. The look on their faces was priceless, and for a moment, I thought this actually looked sort-of believable.

 

“Mom. Dad.” I motioned to Tyler. “This is my boyfriend, Tyler. We go to the same school.”

 

My mom's face broke out into another wide smile as she took his free hand and eagerly shook it. “Oh, Tyler, it's so nice to meet you. You're a little cutie. I don't see why Josh didn't tell us about you sooner!”

 

_Oh God, Mom, please don't._

 

Tyler gave her a smile and it actually wasn't too bad-looking. “Thank you, Mrs, ah, Dun. I see where Josh gets his good looks from.”

 

“Oh, stop.”

 

_Wait, what?_

 

“How long have you two been dating?” my dad asked.

 

Panic catching up with me again, I opened my mouth to blurt out something (undoubtedly) more stupid, but Tyler took it in stride. “We've been dating for a few weeks,” he answered. He looked at me with the most fake puppy-dog eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. “But it feels like it was just five minutes ago.”

 

“Oh, we must have you over for dinner sometime!” my mom quipped.

 

I felt my heart drop. “Mom--”

 

“Your whole family can come, actually! We'd love to meet your parents, Tyler.” She clapped her hands together. “How does this Sunday evening sound?”

 

_No, no, no, no, no, no..._

 

Tyler started to grin. “That sounds great, Mr. and Mrs. Dun. I'll ask my parents and let you know.” He let go of my hand and gave them a courteous nod. “Well, I must get back to work before I get in trouble.” Leaning over to me, he pressed a simple kiss to my cheek and then smirked. “And I'll text you later, _sweetheart._ ”

 

And with that, he waved goodbye to my parents and pranced off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tyler has no chill tho


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so excited to write this tbh  
> b/c I don't usually write humor stuff  
> (I guess this would be considered humor idk)

_Message from: Unknown Number_

_Hey “boyfriend,” I'm home from work, what's good?_

 

Groaning, I grabbed my phone and pushed the Dial button under the message box.

 

He picked up after two rings. “Hey, you should know your boyfriend doesn't like talking on the phone.”

 

“Dang it Tyler,” I said. “Why did you have to do that?”

 

“Do what?” Tyler's voice was coy, almost innocent. “I only did what you asked of me.”

 

“I didn't _ask_ you to invite yourself over for dinner,” I hissed. “We barely even know each other.”

 

He laughed. “Okay, well, I'm Tyler Joseph, I'm a stock boy at “Crappy-o-Mart” and I'm your new boyfriend, apparently. What more do you want to know?”

 

I let out an impatient sigh. “This isn't funny, Tyler. This was supposed to be a five-minute thing and now I have to convince my parents, and jeez, I guess yours now too, that we are a couple. And what was that stuff about me taking after my mother, huh?”

 

A few moments of silence passed over the phone before Tyler chuckled. “I was only being honest, Josh. And obviously you must have thought I looked halfway decent too if you asked me to be your pseudo boyfriend.”

 

I couldn't deny it. Tyler was cute. He had a simple face, but expressive eyes, something that I had noticed even the brief times I had saw him in school. But I sure as heck wasn't going to admit it. “So, what do we do?”

 

“Well...” Tyler dragged the word out, as if he had something mischievous up his sleeve. “I'm single, you're obviously single and I have nothing else better to do, so let's do it.”

 

My mouth fell open. “What?”

 

“Let's date-- well, pretend to date. I haven't played pretend since I was a little kid, so this should be fun.”

 

“But, but, but--”

 

“Save your new boyfriend a seat on the bus tomorrow, yeah?”

 

I was speechless, at a loss as what to even say to that. “H-How did you even get my number anyway?”

 

“I know people.” He laughed. “See you tomorrow, Joshie.”

 

 _Click_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya'll can see where this is going right lmbo


End file.
